We have climbed the first five
rungs of the ladder, and now have reached a critical stage in our journey. If
we have made it this far, we have achieved much, but not nearly to the heights
of those who came before us. We have seen the various rungs detail for us a
wide variety of topics and what we must to do to call ourselves Christian. We have
witnessed exile, renunciation, obedience and detachment. We have begun to run
the race and become athletes for Christ through repentance. However, we have
not contemplated death or our mortality. As I said in a previous blog, I do not
fear death. I never really have. I have always known that it is coming, even
for me. None of us can escape death and
we will be called by God to submit to an earthly death before our judgement.
St. John in his opening statement
to us in this chapter or rung, is, “Every
word is preceded by thought. And the remembrance of death and sins precedes
weeping and mourning. Therefore, this subject comes in its proper place in this
chapter.” He also says, “Fear of
death is a natural instinct that comes from disobedience; but terror at death
is evidence of unrepented sin. Christ fears death, but does not show terror, in
order to demonstrate clearly the properties of His two natures.” We all
fear it, even Christ in Gethsemane feared death, but did not show any source of
falling away from his appointed mission. Because of unrepented sin, we fear the
judgement that is to come. We fear that God will not accept us and that he will
turn away from us when he comes again. We know that in order to receive forgiveness
we must repent from our sins and struggle harder to live a Christ-filled life.
In order to that we must fulfill the first five rungs of the ladder before we
reach this stage. St. John gives us two distinct statements that are crucial to
completing this particular rung of the ladder. The first says, “As of all foods
bread is the most essential, so the thought of death is the most necessary of
all works. The remembrance of death amongst those in the midst of society gives
birth to distress and frivolity, and even more—to despondency. But amongst
those who are free from noise it produces the putting aside of cares, and
constant prayer and guarding of the mind. But these same virtues both produce
the remembrance of death and are also produced by it.” The second is this, “A true sign of those
who are mindful of death in the depth of their being is a voluntary detachment
from every creature and complete renunciation of their own will.” We are detached from the noise of the world
and we are give over to the food of the spirit. We produce in ourselves through
these rungs the fruit of the Spirit that Paul talks about. As it is, the fruit
of the Spirit is produced by all true Christians, those who have fully embraced
Jesus Christ and His Church. We know that God also calls us not to fear, and
especially not to fear death as those who without Christ do.
Those who despair often go to great
lengths to achieve their death. Some resort to suicide. St. John says, “Not
every desire for death is good. Some, constantly sinning from force of habit,
pray for death with humility. And some, who do not want to repent, invoke death
out of despair. And some, out of self-esteem consider themselves dispassionate,
and for a while have no fear of death. And some (if such can now be found)
through the action of the Holy Spirit long for their departure.” I have unfortunately known many who have ended
their own lives because they do not trust God. Recently my medical trials have
been very harsh. I have been subject to some of the most violent persecution I have
witnessed in my life and do not wish anyone to go through what I have. That
being said, when the doctors came to examine me, one of their questions was regarding
my plan to commit suicide. I replied to them that I have never nor will ever attempt
suicide simply because it goes against the values that I stand for. I believe so
hard in Christ that no matter what I go through, even this that I am going
through now, that I believe Christ will see me through. It is easy in the
moment to despair and to begin to worry and fret about what the future holds. However,
holding firm to God will see us come to a realization that this world is
fleeting and will pass away. Only our souls will remain.
Those of us who remember our death,
must also remember that we are to repent. We cannot live in immorality and sin
all the days of our lives and expect God to save us. Still yet there are some
that question why the hour of our death is hidden to us. Why God would allow us
to die. The answer St. John gives us is better than anything I could write. He
says, “Some inquire and wonder: ‘Why, when the remembrance of death is so
beneficial for us, has God hidden from us the know ledge of the hour of
death?’—not knowing that in this way God wonderfully accomplishes our
salvation. For no one who foreknew his death would at once proceed to baptism
or the monastic life; but everyone would spend all his days in iniquities, and
only on the day of his death would he approach baptism and repentance. From
long habit he would become confirmed in vice, and would remain utterly
incorrigible’’ Therefore we must
continue in our salvation. If we do not know the hour of our death we will
constantly remember that we are to die. Knowing the hour of our death leads people
to doing crazy things. Think about all the people who have cancer, knowing they
are to die they begin to live life carefree and without regret. They complete
bucket lists instead of focusing on repentance and salvation. Those of us who live
with the remembrance of death will seek earnest the sacraments and the path of
salvation. We will go to church more often, we will pray, and seek forgiveness.
Finally, St. John gives us some wisdom for this rung. He says, “Insensibility
of heart dulls the mind, and abundance of food dries the fountains of tears.
Thirst and vigil afflict the heart, and when the heart is afflicted the waters
flow. The things we have said will seem cruel to epicures and incredible to the
indolent; but a man of action will readily test them, and he who has found them
out by experience will smile at them. But he who is still seeking will become more
gloomy” Never comfort the clay dear brothers and sisters. The clay (meaning
our mortal bodies) is ensnared by the passions. In doing so we only enslaving
ourselves more to this world. Eat for nourishment not for pleasure, make merry
not for pleasure but for the joy of others, and be sad not for the things of
this world but for the fact that you long for paradise.
St. John has many things to teach
us yet. We have only climbed six rungs to the top of the ladder. Twenty-four
more to go. Life will try and drag us away from the ladder and throw us down
into the pit. Do not allow the enemy to do this! I leave you as I have these
past few blogs with a statement by St. John. He says, “Remember thy last
end, and thou shalt never sin.”
Amen.
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